Thursday, January 29, 2009

#7 Lost again, yeah ...

I still cannot believe it could be true. More than anything else i cannot come to terms with this so called fact of life or the ultimate truth or whatever you call it. Why is it that sometimes some close people suddenly leave you forever without even a proper farewell ? Why is it that we get so much intoxicated with the worldly affairs that we unconsciously take everything for granted, and assume that our family and close ones are going to be around forever.. no matter what? Why is that some people choose to leave you one fine day suddenly without giving slightest of a hint of what is going to come? Why is it that the ones you relied upon so much, and somehow never in the wildest dreams thought something could happen to them..the same ones silently curl into the eternal sleep, leaving you competely baffled and wondering what could go wrong.
No one had thought even in his wildest of imagination that a mere stomach ache would reveal to be an inoperable tumour within a few days... turning the casual not-to-be-much-worried-about looks into those of absolute grief, insecurity and helplessness.
I know everything in the world has and end. We all do have to leave one fine day. But to leave like this..its pretty freaky. I could never have imagined God loved my mum's brother more than all of us here. He was too good and perfect for anything tragic like this to happen to him. I envy him for doing this to us. Its been almost 10 days, and i was told today.. Probably becuase they knew i wont be able to take the shocking news too well that time,being alone and away from home. They wanted to wait for a few days until its was fine enough for me to accept it. I have finally accepted it, but its still not fine :(
I do realise that change is inevitable. But there is always this security in taking things for granted that what is will always be. Im no longer an 8 yr old kid..but right now this sudden change has unsettled me a big big big time and made me so insecure and scared of things in life. Theres a feeling of being a kid whos scared to move out of his room for a glass of water in the night becuase its dark and scary..and wants his mother's comforting hand. Right now im not able to decide whos the kid..... me or my mum.

3 comments:

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

ohhhhhhhhhh
so sorry for that
but it's life
u knw i cn see everything bt i cnt see tears in my mom's eyes
wen my nannu & naani expired
that were horrible days of my life!!

surbhit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alfan said...

u have the answer..'change is inevitable'..ur mom is brave...so should be you..nobody is a kid here..but the simile is beautiful..painfully beautiful..