Saturday, March 27, 2010

#34 I Want You Back..... NOW !

Hey baby,

Its been 12 long cruel days and sleepless nights since i lost you from my sight. Not a moment passes when i don't think about you and worry about where and how you'd be doing. I think about you all the time. The loss is too much for me to handle. I miss you all the time. And so does my laptop. We both miss you every damn time when we need to transfer data or just play around with you. Miss the times when I would proudly flash you around and others would marvel at your beauty. You tiny cute little thing, i did every possible thing in the world to look for you, pestered everyone to give me any tiny lead about you, and even offered a stupid pendrive in return for you. Ohh I could give my entire fortune to have you back.
You are just so special to me, and so was the way you came into my life. The one who gave you to me is gone too, I can't afford to lose you now. I remember how he took the pains of ordering you for me and gifting it to me during the time I badly needed someone to take away my grief of parting with my final year friends last year. You may be gone, but I can't rest until I have you back. I'm so much in love with you. I confess I would secretly stare at you for hours alltogether when you lay beautifully on my study table and I would pretend to be reading, while i would actually ogle at you. I was too scared to let you know, lest you shall get angry. I promise I wont offend you now, just don't be mad at me and come back please. please :(

To the person who stole picked it after it got dropped, or the one who took it from me and dropped it somewhere , I really hope you choke a cookie and get a spaz attack return it back soon.

*sob sob*

In a childish tantrum + heartbroken lover's moans,


Thursday, March 11, 2010

#33 Past imperfect, Present tense....

Today I opened the preparation material given by my coaching, something that I was supposed to have done 8 months back. But the proud owner of the lazy bum that I am, I kept procrastinating. After the CAT results and one Mock Test by another coaching centre in the city, some batchmates of mine have started fretting and begun preparing at a pace that makes us feel ashamed of our laziness. To avoid the embarassment and more importantly to pretend to be serious about my preparation ( and hence avoid feeling left out form the league), I picked up the Verbal Ability module book and picked up what i thought would be a cake walk- Reading Comprehension. Among the reading techniques and the deterrents explained, there was Regression that was stressed on quite a bit. It strongly discouraged the tendency of going back to the words and lines just read. It gets one stuck at the past thought and also slows down the reading progress to a great extent, resulting in a loss of comprehension and a lot of time.
This got me into thinking. Strange how the text I was reading as a part of my course had an uncanny similarity to the thoughts going on in my head since the morning, thoughts that kept me restless throughout the day. Isin't it very common in our lives for us to regress into the past? We tend to go back into the past thoughts and memories and somehow get stuck with them for a long time, and just don't know how to get out of them. We think we have well moved on with our lives and are doing just well will the present, when all it takes is one tiny memory from the past to hit our head and we start losing our composure. I have seen friends going about their daily life smoothly suddenly falling into the abyss of their hangover of the past- breakups, lost friends, unsatisfactory academic performance, family tensions, failure- anything. Its not the regression that bothers me, but the instant recovery is what I am seeking. Regression is sad. Its upsetting and unhealthy.