Thursday, July 29, 2010

#44 When I fought with my boyfirend...

Nature has its own queer means to teach you its small yet important lessons, especially at times when you get too busy with your own self to sit back and reflect upon those tiny signals it keeps poking you with. It tries to remind you that you have been ignoring it for too long, like a selfish girlfriend forgetting her wonderful boyfriend for her dumb preoccupations. And when you keep ignoring it for long enough, it has its means to get even with you.
The same happened with me, it had to. I landed in Bhopal from Delhi 10 days back to be welcomed by a sight I was dying to see. The monsoons had arrived and it was a treat for me to be finally relieved of Delhi's unbearable heat. The campus never looks so beautiful and fresh as it does in this season, probably the reason why the freshers and their parents seem uber excited about the campus at the time of admissions (little do they know our campus is a perfect example of a shrewd marketing strategy, sell to the customers right when its at its best, later leave them to their own misery). Anyway, so I returned to the college with a great excitement and plans for the final year (coupled with a lot of anticipation too but that is outside the scope of this post for now).I decided to live and cherish each and every moment I spend here in the college to the fullest, so that when I leave by the end of this term, I leave with a heavy yet satisfied heart, with no regrets for having out missed the best Bhopal had to offer to me. I promised to myself I shall visit the lake more often, enjoy the early morning breeze and the sunrise, stay more in my room in peaceful contemplation beside the window-side, spend more time looking outside at the moon and the stars and the clouds and the birds and all those wonderful things that make me smile.
So I silently told the nature, who happens to be my boyfriend since as long as I can remember, of my dreamy plans. He initially laughed at me with a "ya right, I know you since 21 years now. Don't play these games with me" look. Then I coaxed him further trying to convince it that I really did mean it this time. He reluctantly agreed, warning me of unpleasant consequence lest I ditch him again this time. I promised him I wont, I was a better girl this time. Thus started my quest for a perfect final year anyone could have dreamed of.
First I got busy with shifting into the new room, which took most of my first week. He patiently consented to let me settle in first, understood that it was an arduous task and already a lot of people were stuck in a chain waiting for me to shift. I was awed by this gesture and promised to make up for the time I had already lost by spending more time with him later. He merely grimaced. Then began my classes and CAT coaching, where I was already lagging behind others by miles. I was told to get on track as fast as i could, as I had already wasted a lot of time. The placement season in the college started too, with 5 from my batch securing their jobs already. The pressure started building soon, and the realization of a not-so-dreamy final year started to hit hard at the back of my mind. I decided to plan my time well, to accommodate part of everything in my day, utilize my time efficiently, and still have enough free time to spend with him. He knew what I was coming onto.
I don't think it would be appropriate to divulge into details of how I kept ignoring him and hurting him everytime by breaking the promises I made to him every single day. Its something very personal, plus he hates it when I talk about our fights in public. He waited me for too long it seems, only I overlook his desire for me to be with him by choosing to involve in mindless activities instead. The last blow came when day before yesterday I returned from my coaching after giving a mock exam, opened the window of my room breathing in the cool breeze, and instead of reciprocating his excited greeting with a smile, let alone an overdue rueful apology, I decided to moan about messing up the Verbal Ability section! I went on and on about how careless I was in attempting those questions I should've left and not spending more time on solving Quant, something I am so fond of. Guess it was too much for him to take. He replied with an angry thunder, and I snapped back at him accusing him for being heartless. I left him there outside the window and got to my Gtalk, speaking to everyone else but him. His temper got worse and he threatened me of shooting me down with sickness if I din't relent. I cursed him and told him to stop blackmailing me, I had developed defence against sickness over months, since it had been long I since I had another of those regular sinus attacks. I told him with pride that such tantrums of his wont work with me anymore, turned away and walked off dramatically.




So here I am now, on the bed since two full days, unable to do anything else than sneeze my guts out, and shoving tablets down my throat. I've been sniffing and sneezing and sleeping since what seems like ages to me, and now even my room mate seems bored of seeing my puffy eyes and nose swollen to thrice their already large size. The fan is switched off, the ipod is playing When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne, the window is open and im sitting beside it with a mug of hot tea, looking outside for any sign of him. But he is not ready to budge, I'm sure he is sitting at some corner smirking and grinning at me for having taught me life's important lesson this cruel way.


3 comments:

vandy said...

get well soon sweetheart

Gurdit said...

Well, turns out your creativity is fit and fine. :)

Aditi said...

now this one is really nice...