Monday, May 11, 2015

#104. Be Wary

Be wary of people who try to "fix you". Be wary of those who need to say to you that they are your friend. Be wary of those who need to ask you to trust them. Be wary of friends who tell you they are not judging you. Be wary of those who repeatedly tell you they understand you and they totally get you and hence want to fix you. Be extremely wary.

Be wary because people who come in your life and even after spending considerable amount of time with you, are compelled to tell you that they are trying to "get you", will never really "get you". No particular reason why. They will continue to see you differently, despite you baring yourself clearly open to them. You think get know you well, they say they know you well - but you realize there is no connection.

You eventually figure that your journey is no less than a carousel, and most of the people you meet in this journey will only hop on at some stage and hop off when time comes. For them you are only a means to move forward in their journey, and they should've been the same for you. It's okay to meet people, have a great time with them, create memories with them and accept that you all will move on with or without them. What is not okay is to have assumed that they will make your carousel their home which they will protect and respect. It's okay to pour out your heart to them, it's not okay to have taken for granted that they will honor your trust in them.

Most importantly, be wary of yourself. For you and you alone are to be blamed if you let someone have a control over the things that matter the most to you and should have been protected by you.

I am extremely angry as I type this. Not sure if I am more angry or disappointed because I am in tears and in the mood to smash at the same time. Not sure what is worse - finding out right before I am leaving this city that one of the most important friends to me had been snitching on me all along and ruined what was supposed to be one of the most beautiful memories for me; or that I am wishing I'd rather not have found out at all, and maybe stayed and left in the ignorant bubble that trusting that friend was never a foolish choice. 

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