Saturday, October 29, 2011

#78 The "aur bata" syndrome

Is it just me or is everyone else going through the same dillemas of "aur bata...kya chal raha hai aajkal.." ??

Its only been a couple of months since college is over, and calling someone to make a conversation seems like the hardest thing. It is happening too much, nay, almost always, these days. I hardly have anything to talk, invariably I end up repeating the line "aur bata" and when asked the same, I just have "nothing much yaar.. tu bata? " to return. There have been times when both speak the same lines endless times , followed with an uneasy silence..until one of us decides to break the ice with a "chal yaar..will call you later" .
It is not like initiating a conversation or chattering with friends is such a hard thing for me to do. I usually am very talkative, and find it quite easy to come up with things to talk about. People who've known me for long know how effortlessly conversations over the phone or gtalk can run for hours and until late in the nights, sharing every possible bit of update with them. Obviously, I'm one of those who believed that constant, or atleast frequent communication is important after leaving college. With almost everyone she knew, or atleast the ones she believed deserved to be in touch with. Afterall, we all have shared a part of lives together, they sure should atleast be aware of what is going on now.

But somehow I see myself failing to keep up with the constant pressure of this "keeping-in-touch" business. And deep inside I know what is at cause. I find it pointless calling up a friend just for the heck of it, only to utter the cliched "aur bata... idhar kuch khaas nahin, tu bata ? " every single time . It irks even more when, if by chance either of the two manages to share some piece of information, to be replied to almost instantaneously with a "yeah I read your facebook / twitter/ gTalk / 4square < insert any other of the gazillian social networking sites here> bata? "

Got my drift ?

These sites have made real- life conversations almost impossible. "Catching up after a long time" seems to have lost its entire meaning when all it includes is " must've read my updates / seen the album I uploaded ? " . What extra can I possibly talk about with a friend whose day-by-day ( or even minute-by-minute, in some cases) updates I'm being slapped with on the internet ? We prefer publishing our lives for everyone to read over picking up the phone and making a friend feel special. There were times when a phone call or a small note for me after even a long hiatus would make me feel remembered and special. Returning the favor meant having a special place in the heart for that friend. But today, it feels almost nothing to read about whats going on in their lives on Facebook, just a superficial validation of the fact that we are "friends still in touch" .

Maybe its not as grim as I make it sound, the friendships are still strong and dear. The friends still remain the same as they always are. I just can't help introspecting on whether the means we choose to keep in touch are puling us apart , or bringing us closer? Or way too closer to comfort ?

I don't know what is the resolution to this feeling, how do I make conversations with my friends more real and less of virtual.. But for now, I need to call a bestie and ask her details of this outing she posted about on her profile.

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