#60 So What Happened and Will Happen in 2011??

Although 2011 brought me a lot of happy moments with it, I have yet to register them in my head and come to terms with certain events that have happened too fast to be able to prepare for them. I welcomed the new year in the most dispassionate manner possible, by sleeping in the upper berth of a Delhi bound train, followed with an entirely opposite and fun filled day with my friends from internship as promised (remember?). And I gave that horrible exam too, the lesser I try to reminisce about it the better it is for my health. Just to give you a drift in case you already don’t have one, my friends rightly coined a term for it. ”mass rape”. Fast forward a week and I landed back in college with truck load of guilt for not having even opened a book during vacations while all my batchmates had devoured scores of books to prepare for the dream companies ( our college’s placement policy allows each student to grab one job having normal status and one more in addition under dream status. I already got my ‘normal’ placement in the beginning of the last semester). I decided in the auto on my way to campus to settle down in my room asap and start serious prep atleast this one time, only to reach the hostel and be told about SAP Labs, first dream company visiting our company the very next day! Guilty as I felt for my lack of preparation for a serious deal as a company like this, I decided to just go and sit for the written test and support my friends appearing and badly wanting to get in the company. Fast forward another 3 hours and find yours truly in the interview room for an excruciating 1.5 hours trying to shoot back at the interviewer charging at her with every problem possible in the world. Fast forward another two hours and have yours truly be the first in her branch to grab a dream offer. As dazed and lost as ever, pinching herself every moment and then for any sign of this being a weird dream by any chance.

Its been 6 days since that and the entire course of events of that day still replay through my head atleast 10 times a day. And those of the past few months for another 20 times. I seem to have started believing in the idea that nature has its way of balancing things in life. It takes some, but then ensures that it does give you back in some form or the other. It has never been too many smiles or tears forever, there always have to be a balanced amount of both spread over a period.

I have also come to believe that your actions today do somehow influence certain events of tomorrow, however unrelated they may seem to be. I saw a friend doing something really horrible with his beloved last semester, and was dreading his karma to strike back at him over something very important to him to pinch enough. Turned out that his CAT results which everyone had taken for granted he’d be acing in, were a big disaster and lowered his spirits tremendously. I don’t know how this really makes sense, but I can’t seem to co-relate these two events in his life. Surprisingly, his “conscience tells” him the same. *scratches head*

I have decided to try my best to focus on the many happy and pleasant thoughts and people instead of that one unhappy moment or person. As huge and impossible that might seem I shall do whatever it takes from my side to remind myself that my life is much more than just that and I definitely deserve to spend each moment in a way that I feel no guilt and regret in future about having it wasted over something that did not deserve more space in my mind than I already have given. I write all this here so that it stays as a permanent copy of my resolve to read and remind myself with whenever I falter.

Who says resolutions cannot be made 20 days after Jan 1 ?