#3 22 dec, 9:48 pm

22 minutes over and I still cant think of the perfect beginning of this post. Ok, I’ll better give some keywords, please work it out yourself :P [lazy I am. so what ! ]

semester over ..finally…
exams took 7 long weeks to eventually get over…
got a short vacation in between...
why ? don’t think I need to repeat the details, do I? most of you would know.. if u don’t, please don’t bother…
performance in exams? don’t ask.. horrible in most subjects, duh..
on my way back home…3rd trip in last 2 months…
as always, was looking forward to this day since the first exam…
had started packing ages back [who does not want to rush back home asap???]…
right now: in the train back home,
alone,
boring noisy co-passengers,
top berth,
reminiscing the semester that came and went,
strong urge to pour out the feelings crowding my mind...

** I do hope I finish and post this as soon as I reach home, not delay and laze around and give up**

ok..i guess I can start now.
don’t know how do I describe the semester that just got over. when I came back to college after summer vacations to join the second year,I was going through a mixed bag of extreme feelings..
grumpy about leaving home for the cruel outside world… anxious about what the coming term had in store for me… expecting things to be different from those in beginning year.. excited about making new associations and taking up responsibilities..u know,all the stuff that comes to u once you are a senior ;)
A lot lot lot many things happened to me. even a 100 page writeup wouldn’t do justice. apart from increased frequency of class bunks and canteen visits,i started involving more in the college and hostel affairs.. made new friends, got into more circles, college activities, hostel stuff, more parties, more outings.. blah blah..

and a hell lot of learning too..
I learnt that most of the things and people in the world aren’t actually what they seem to be..
I learnt never to make an opinion about something or someone and stick to it, you will most likely be wronged. be flexible and ready to accept any changes, even though they’ll be shocking…or even hurting.
I learnt that no matter how honest and innocent you are, the more you try to explain yourself to others, the more you are bound to be mistaken, so don’t even try.
I learnt to start accepting things if they don’t go in my favour, rather than trying to set them straight.
I learnt that if things are going to be fine, they eventually will, cribbing and mourning over them when they are not wont speed up the process.
I learnt to keep on doing good to others, and to be nice to them, knowing fully well that they mean no good to you, or worse, try to bother you somehow.
I learnt to let go of friends who don’t ever think nice for you, who were never your friends but just because you thought they were, you don’t have to be an ass and hold onto them even if it doesn’t work out with them.
I learnt to (this one is confusing) finally start to learn to stop getting disturbed by little petty issues that others create for me, because after much efforts and talks,I realised its their problem, not mine.
I learnt that its very important to be on atleast cordial terms with those you don’t get along well with, especially if you are dealing with them on a daily basis.
I learnt to always give people who hurt you another chance, maybe things work out and change for the better.. but after much persistence if they don’t, then you are being fooled and need to take immediate steps.
I learnt that people who try to act oversmart in front of you basically need your attention, and the more cool and less reacting you are to them, the sooner they’ll come down to their level and accept defeat.
I learnt not to worry about whatever nonsense people spread about me, and go about clearing them.. those who know me well would automatically know its untrue, those who’ll believe don’t deserve to know me anyway.

and finally…
last 3 days taught me never to lose faith in existence of good in this mean mean world….. that there are people who’ll enter right when you give up hopes of having true companions….. that there will be times when your old friends will start to come back to you after horrible mad bad times, closer than before….. that there are some angels who can give up their long awaited movie plans and dates just to plan a surprise and get that little smile on your face….. that there are some people a lot older to you, who decide to take you out, do things you never even imagined but at the end of the day ask you for your decision about a thing they intend to plan for you, and accept it respectfully even though you say no….. and that there are some extremely special friends who’ll go out of the way to do anything for you to assure you that they will still love you no matter how many problems and shit happen….

tonight for the first time I strongly feel I was wrong in believing that I wont have any memories to remember and miss after I graduate from this college. I have infact got extremely attached to some people here, and cannot imagine life without them. I feel truly blessed and loved and happy.

hope the ones I wish to tell all this read it. I wont be able to say it in words directly…..never.
good night :)